To Love You Is To Miss You
by DobbyRocksSocks
Summary: It started with books. It ended with whispered words of love.


**Disclaimer - I own nothing you recognise.**

 **Challenges listed at the bottom.**

 **Word Count - 975**

 _Written for 2017 GGE, for Lexi - Hope you enjoy it hun._

* * *

 **To Love You Is To Miss You**

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It started with books. They'd read in the hidden alcove in silence, neither interrupting the other, but neither antagonising either. It was a quiet companionship that was limited to the alcove.

Red hair fell over one shoulder, icy blonde over another.

…

"I wouldn't have taken you for a bookworm," Lily said one day, when Narcissa settled beside her.

The glare would have made lesser people cringe away, but Lily met her gaze head on.

"I'm not a bookworm, I'm a bibliophile," Narcissa retorted.

Lily nodded, looking down at her own book with a grin on her face. "Like I said; bookworm."

…

"Why do you keep coming here?" Narcissa asked out of the blue one day.

Lily shrugged. "I like it here. Nobody bothers me, and I can read in peace. I don't know what the Slytherin common room is like, but in the Gryffindor one, it's rarely ever quiet enough to sink into a good book."

Narcissa nodded thoughtfully. "Especially since Sirius and Potter are in there, I imagine."

Rolling her eyes, Lily could only nod her agreement. Black and Potter were a pain in her ass and a thorn in her side. Always noisy, always trying to embarrass her, they drove her insane.

"Why do you keep coming?" Lily asked, curious.

Narcissa smiled slightly. "This is the only place I can be myself."

…

"How are you still friends with Snape?"

Lily frowned. "Why not?"

"Gryffindor's and Slytherin's were not made to get on."

"We manage alright, don't we?"

...

"I heard about the scene Potter caused in the Great Hall. Are you okay?"

Lily blinked, surprised. "I'm fine, he's a jerk."

Narcissa nodded. "And Snape?"

Lily shrugged. "No idea, he's off sulking somewhere. Just because I turned Potter down again, doesn't mean I want Severus."

"So you'd rather be hiding in this alcove with me for the evening?"

Smiling, Lily nodded her head. "I really would."

…

"I, uh, I'm sorry about you and Snape. He's been sulking even more than usual lately, I take it you haven't made up?"

Lily shook her head tiredly. "No. And we're not going to. I can forgive a lot, you know? But… He called me a Mudblood. I hear it quite often, but not from him. Never from him. He was supposed to be my best friend."

"He was embarrassed," Narcissa shrugged. "People often say things they don't mean when they're hurt or embarrassed."

"It was only a matter of time, I suppose. He's heading for… well. Something that I oppose. I can't be friends with him while he's going down the dark path he's on."

"It's your choice. If anyone can save him from that darkness though, it would be you."

"At what cost though?"

...

"Have you ever thought about dating a woman?" Lily asked, her cheeks flushing.

Narcissa shook her head. "I see no point in fantasising about the impossible. My family… I will be betrothed before I leave school.

"Just imagine you were free though," Lily pushed, her green eyes sparkling.

Narcissa stared at her for a moment, before her lips tilted up. "Perhaps."

…

"Your hair is so soft," Lily murmured, running her fingers gently through the blonde locks.

Narcissa was pliant under her fingers. She adored her hair being played with. It didn't take long for her to be putty in Lily's hands.

When soft lips were placed against her own, she kissed back immediately, her own hands tangling in red hair.

She'd been waiting for this moment for months.

…

"Have you told anyone about us?" Narcissa asked, leaning back against the wall, Lily leaning into her side.

"No. Did you want me to?"

"You would do that?"

"I have no reason to deny you, Cissa. You on the other hand…"

"You know I don't care about your blood, Lil. It's red, just the same as mine. But… my family."

"I don't mind keeping it a secret," Lily assured her. "But it'll cost you."

"Blackmail?"

"Uh huh."

"And what am I to pay?"

"Hmm, For starters, your lips are too far away from mine."

…

"A proposal has been made. My father accepted it," Narcissa whispered, tears running down her flawless cheeks.

Lily wiped them away gently. "We knew it was going to happen, baby. Who?"

"Lucius, as I suspected," Narcissa replied. "We're to be married in the summer."

Her own eyes brimming with unshed tears, Lily pressed butterfly kisses to Narcissa's face. "Then we have until the end of the school year. Let's not waste it."

...

"Can we just stay here forever?" Narcissa wondered out loud. "Forget about the world and just be us, forever?"

Smiling, Lily replied, "Only if you've found a spell that will stop time. Graduation is in three hours."

"It's not fair. I don't want this to end. I don't… I don't want to lose you."

"I know. But you're to marry Lucius, and you know you can't go against your family, Cissa. You weren't made for being on the run."

"I'll miss you," Narcissa murmured, pressing her lips to Lily's bare shoulder. "Every day."

Lily nodded, leaning into the contact. "I know. I'll miss you too. In another life…"

"If I wasn't a Black…"

"And I wasn't a Muggleborn…"

"It's like we're living one of those terrible romance books you insist on reading," Narcissa teased.

Lily shook her head sadly. "In those books, love always prevails."

Levity gone, Narcissa wrapped her arms around Lily. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Sometimes it's not enough."

...

It ended with wedding vows spoken to other people. Each kept the secrets of the other, each carried the love they felt in their heart, knowing that in another world, they could have been happy.

Icy blonde hair fell over her shoulder as she placed roses on the grave.

"I'll always love you, Lily. I'll always miss you."

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 **Written for;**

 **Character Appreciation** \- 27. Bibliophile

 **Disney, C1.** Being forced to choose between love and family.

 **Days of the Month** \- World Book Day - A Bookworm

 **Caffeine Awareness** \- 17. Espresso - Something you don't want to end.

 **Quilting Appreciation** \- LilyNarcissa


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